I bleed it out.

I wish Current Best Friend would realize that she needs to run far & run fast. Let me say this; I love her ridiculously. She is an amazing person. That being said, this is where my problem lay. I care about her so much. I don't want the selfish monster that is my own freckled, scrawny self to ruin her like I did the others. Like the Queen. Like My Fellow Disaster. I controlled the Queen. In retrospect, I tried too hard there. As for My Fellow Disaster, well, let's just say I'm not quite through blaming myself for the eleventh of June so long ago. Once the Current Best Friend sees me for who I am, she'll be gone too. It's a horribly depressing thought but I'd rather have her safe from me. She'll realize it one day. They always do.