The words are all in my head but for some reason, I just can't seem to get them into a document of any kind. Seriously, my actual thoughts read back like either a bad rap song. Almost like a less talented version of 'Forgive Me'. I don't even know where to begin.
The Beauty of Just Letting Go (And a Million Other Lies) would be the title of my book (the non-Slade one) if I wasn't lazy, fifteen and if the Dixie Chicks (or Patty Griffin) didn't sue me for jacking that line from 'Let Him Fly'.
"A Million Other Lies" refers to the fact that I'm a liar. Apparently. Well, it's not like I didn't know that. Or maybe I didn't. See, back in the day, back before my Current Best Friend branded me as this evil little liar (though maybe not in this words), we all lied. That was what you had to do to survive in the crew. Especially around the Queen. And since we all did it and we all understood it, none of us faulted anyone else for doing so. It was just a way of life. Survival of the sneakiest, I suppose. You did what you had to do to keep the peace and keep things running smoothly. Myself especially. Mostly for the fact that the other members of the Queen's Court came to me and I had to keep them at ease. Constantly. They could rarely handle the truth. And so, I lied. And I continued to lie. Perhaps that has spilled over into this new life, this new world, this new universe entirely. And the Current Best Friend might be getting the bulk of it.
Yeah, it's not really fair to her. But it's not something I can control. I would love to be normal and go back to my pre-Queen's Court days (well, maybe not entirely. I was pretty weak back then) but it's not up to me. That's one thing she doesn't understand. And I'm glad that she doesn't. Not only does that separate the two very different worlds but it's just better for her as a person that she doesn't understand. Look at the sad excuses for people that emerged from those days (with the exception of the Boy of course. He is oddly unaffected.)
There are just some things that the Current Best Friend just does not understand. One obviously being the Queen and everything that happened in the last three or four years that in any way touched on the subject of the Queen. Another thing would be anything having to do with Stripes (every good writer needs an unrealistic love interest with a code name. If it worked for Carrie Bradshaw, it'll work for me). It's not her fault that she doesn't get that part, though. She's never been there. She isn't supposed to understand it. That's why I pring all my Stripes problems to My Fellow Disaster. She's been in love. She gets it. Not that I'm saying I am or ever have been in love with Stripes but whatever, you see my point.
This discussion will throw me into an entirely different rant so I think it's best I save it for tomorrow.
To quote the great Pudge, love, peace and hair grease.
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